Are you not having a good day? Are you fed up applying for jobs and not hearing anything back from employers? Getting constant rejection letters/emails? Feeling deflated?
We all struggle sometimes and you are not alone in this. All it takes is a little unasked-for criticism or someone just treating us harshly to trigger us into a spiral of negative self-talk and anxiety about not being liked or appreciated. Another typical feeling is that we are not good enough, or having nothing to give an employer, a feeling of worthlessness and almost hopelessness.
When you need to remind yourself of your worth fast, it’s good to have some ideas in mind to get yourself out of the zone of self doubt and negativity. Try these quick tips for getting yourself back on track even when life seems out of control.
Go into a Judgement-Free Zone
OK, so your thoughts aren’t what you wish they would be. You know you’re in a negative cycle today. Your emotions are all over the place, and you’re starting to hit a wall when it comes to criticism. You already know you’re not supposed to react this way as it is not helpful or has a good impact on you. So to make things worse you start beating yourself for being like that . This is entirely the wrong approach. Your first step must be to stop the negative spiral. Stop the judgment. Accept you’re having a bad day. The day or moment doesn’t have to define you. With these thoughts firmly in mind, it’s time to let things go and think “well tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start again”.
Drop the ‘Should’
Why are you caught up thinking about ‘should’ anyway? It is easy to get caught up in the “should have”. The moment you start using this particularly negative little word, you’re telling yourself what a failure you are. You have become caught up in perfectionism; you can’t possibly escape. ‘Should’ never helps anybody. Erase it from your vocabulary.
Stop Looking for Validation
Anytime you think someone else can give you what you need to feel good about yourself, you’re going to be disappointed. A saying that I use frequently is, “don’t expect anything, and you will never be disappointed”. People will let you down. It is not a bad thing, as we are all human with our own individual flaws. Even in the best relationship, it’s not healthy to use someone else to define who you are. This kind of thinking can be dangerous. What if the person you relied upon was no longer in your life? How would this then impact your self-worth?
Come to Terms with the Past
It’s time to separate your actions from yourself. When you make a mistake, acknowledge the error and move on. Whatever happened it does not need to cloud your future. To get caught into shame or guilt only hurts you in the long run. There is nothing to be gained by victimising yourself. Forgive yourself and move on. If you really have tried so hard and can’t move on from it, reach out for support from those around you or consider counselling or therapy to support you to move forward.
Know Where You Specialise
A quick tip to restore your self-worth is to take a moment to list off the things in which you specialise in or have extensive knowledge in. Acknowledge your accomplishments! Pat yourself on the back. A close examination of all the things which make you proud should give you a solid reminder that you are indeed worthy. All of us are uniquely special in our own way and EVERYONE has something to offer.
By paying attention to these five areas, you can quickly restore your self-worth. The key is to be alert and recognise what is happening when you are feeling down on yourself. Move quickly to head off negative thoughts before they undo all the hard work you’ve already put into yourself.
If you need support in moving forward with your career search/job research, please reach out to us at the Career Change Academy, www.careerchangeacademy.com, or join our facebook page for inspiration and resources at https://www.facebook.com/careerchangeacademycoach